I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
