i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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