there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
