well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
