Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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