your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
