you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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