It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
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Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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