Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize