i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
