R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
