Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
