I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
