we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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