there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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