The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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