I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we made out on top of his cat.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
