Porn is love you can see.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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