He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
