drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
