Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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