u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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