My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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