he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
