hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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