Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
