how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
