so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize