he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you never un-have a 4some
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
