ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize