I heard we made out
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
