I think im going to throw up on grandma
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
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If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.