everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
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No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
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They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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