if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
