When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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