1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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