Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
there is glitter all over my balls
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