and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize