I heard we made out
My hand turned me down
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
