She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
