In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize