I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize