NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i think i have two assholes
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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