Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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