from now on my penis is your penis
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
operation harelip BJ is a go
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
His nipple licking is glorious
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
