why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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