Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
