When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
