I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
