Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
