YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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