this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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